Dear Miles,
It's taken me a few weeks to finally write this. What an exciting, scary, and exhausting few weeks it has been! We waited a LONG time for you ... you were due on December 8th 2010 and when you did not arrive at that time the doctors really wanted me to schedule an induction. I refused and wanted to wait for you to come naturally and guess what!? You did - at 41 weeks and 2 days on December 17th at about 9:58 pm my water broke. I joke with people that 2 of my favorite things got labor going - a glass of Hogue Riesling and a dish of coffee ice cream :) We had my patient's chowder for dinner (Michael's Seafood). It tasted great going down, but not so great coming back up during the later parts of labor! Sorry for being gross, but that's what ou get when your mom's a nurse :) Your dad & I were laying in bed about to shut off the light when I felt (& heard) a sharp "pop" and then I almost immediately had a contraction. I was sure my water had broken but we still couldn't believe it (there was not a big gush of fluid, just a small trickle) We immediately got on the phone with Robin, one of the doulas. I was already having significant contractions and made your dad do most of the talking. I was most comfortable sitting on the toilet, and after talking to Robin for a second, she went ahead and called Kristy who was on duty for the night and I paged the OB on-call to let her know my water had broken and that I would plan to stay at home as long as I could. Well that plan went out the window within 30 minutes. Kristy called and by that point my contractions were coming almost every 5 minutes and I couldn't talk during them. Kristy was going to stay home and we would call her when we needed her...we ended up calling her back and telling her we needed her now...and then we called her back again and told her to meet us at the hospital. The intensity of the contractions were more than I could handle at home. I was scared, because I had no idea that labor could start with such a bang. I thought it would happen more gradually and the intensity would ramp up over time - not so! Mom and Dad were already half asleep, but I had knocked on their door when my water broke to let them know what was going on. Mom stayed with me in the bathroom while your dad scurried around the house to get our stuff packed up and in the car. Mom ended up coming with us which made me feel less scared - the more support the better! The ride to the hospital seemed long and it was all I could do breathe through the contractions. This is also gross - but the gushes of warm amniotic fluid coming out of me actually felt good and helped take my mind off the pain for a second. It is AMAZING how much fluid is in there- it just kept coming & coming! We pulled up to the ED and it was fairly busy. Mom had to fetch a wheelchair and we had to wait about 10 minutes before I was wheeled up to labor & delivery. In between contractions I kind of peeked around, half expecting to see someone I knew and half wanting to see people's reaction to a woman in very active labor! I saw some smiles and also some sympathetic eyes. We get up to L&D and we had to wait another good 10 minutes to get me "checked in." The nurse seemed annoyed that I was there and that I was in such active labor. She started rushing around like I was about to deliver. They get me into triage, try to physically force a gown on me - I tell them "No, I want to labor in my t-shirt" (Weird look #1 comes my way) Then I tell them we have a doula coming (Weird look #2) Some of the nurses were totally cool and appreciative of Kristy and then others were rude or just not very friendly with her. So I got stuck in triage for about 2.5 hours while waiting for a room/nurse to become available. The OB checked me and I was only 3 cm. Only 1 support person was allowed in triage so your dad and Kristy took turns while Mom stayed in the waiting room. I labored along mostly in the standing position. It hurt more to sit or lay down. All the labor pain was in my back - I had no front labor at all. An anestheilogiy resident came in (his name was Dr. Dallas) and consented me for anesthesia - this is protocol. He basically asked me when did I want my epidural and I kindly told him I am taking this one contraction at a time and I would let the nurse know if I wanted something. I was hoping to try and give birth naturally, but also spent a lot of time during pregnancy getting informed about and discussing pain management. Your dad is a phenomenal massage therapist, so we were hoping to use massage therapy and positioning, along with the tub/shower, and possibly a TENS unit to help manage the pain. We had arrived to the hospital around 11 pm and I finally got moved to a room around 2 am. The contractions were coming almost every 2-4 minutes and were lasting 1-2 minutes - it was out of control. Kristy suggested I get into the shower. I am not sure how long I lasted in the shower, but I do remember almost banging my head on the shower wall to try and distract myself from the pain and then I remember Kristy asking me to try and lay down on my side in the tub ... that was the final straw; I was totally exhausted and the intensity of the contractions had taken their toll - it was time for an epidural. Kristy threw out the idea of being checked first, before getting the epidural to determine how far along I was. If I was in transition and very dilated I would have held off without the epidural. A resident came in and checked me - I was only 4-5 cm dilated. Around 3:30 am a wonderful and extremely efficient anesthiologist popped in my epidural and I was a MUCH happier camper. The epidural worked very well and for the most part I was still able to feel the contractions "in a good way." Both Shelby (my nurse) and Kristy suggested that we shut off the lights and try and get some rest. 6 am arrived and Shelby checked me - I was about 8 cm she said. Then around 6:30 am, Dr. Floyd came in to check me since she would be going off call. She got all excited, which got us all excited and said that I was 9 cm and would most likely be having a baby around 8 am! I remember her saying, "We don't even have a table set up in here!" So instead of trying to get more rest, we threw on the lights, Kristy, Ty, & Mom took turns grabbing some coffee and breakfast. Shelby was wrapping up her duties before her shift ended at 7 am, but then close to 8 am she came back to my room. There was an emergency with another woman and my day nurse Cassandra was tied up trying to help with that situation. So Shelby stayed a bit longer and 8 am came and went, and then 9 am came and went...I started to get impatient - I thought I was supposed to be delivering soon!! My day nurse Cassandra came in and we spent a good bit of time talking - she was a fabulous nurse! I was so glad to have her caring for us! We were waiting on Dr. Piscatelli to come and check me to determine if I was ready to deliver. Well she got hung up in the OR so she didn't show up unitl close to 10 or 11 am. She determined that I was not completely dilated and wanted me to "labor down" for a bit. Ok no problem. Well while I was laboring down (aka doing nothing) Cassandra suggested I change position in the bed. Upon doing so, your heart rate decelarated to the 50's ... VERY SCARY! Cassandra immediately grabbed an oxygen mask and hit the intercom button to say she needed help. Hearing her say she needed a doctor and another nurse right away was really really scary - especially when you are a nurse, but on the other side as a patient. All I could think of were all the time I yelled for help when I worked in the ICU. Well her help never arrived and she did a great job, along with Kristy, rolling me from side to side and telling me what to do - "take deep breaths!" Even though it was scary, I knew to keep my mouth shut and just do what I was told. No reason to try and talk...and in a few minutes things were back to baseline. About an hour later, I was resting quietly, when I heard the heart rate on the fetal monitor start to slow way down again. This time Cassandra was not in the room, but Kristy heard the dropping heart rate and she came right to my side. This time I really freaked out. I yelled at your dad to get the oxygen mask, he yelled back at me that he didn't know how to turn on the oxygen. Meanwhile Kristy was trying to help me turn side to side, and I was hitting the call button and yelling that we needed a nurse immediately. A nurse came right in, her name was Eve, she was in charge and she was great too. She helped calm me down and then explained that Cassandra had gone to the OR to set up a table. Well I thought that meant that the OR table was being set up for me, so then I started to really cry and get scared. Eve quickly explained that I was not going to the OR. The floor was short staffed and Cassandra was the only nurse who knew how to set up for a C-section. Cassandra returned, everything calmed down, and around 1 pm Dr. Piscatelli checked me and said I was ready to push. I started pushing around 1:15 pm. After only a few pushes everyone was getting excited because they could see your head. I decided I wanted to see too so Cassandra got a mirror and that was so cool. I asked Cassandra how long she thought I would have to push for. She thought maybe one hour. A hour came and went very quickly. The 2nd hour started, and even though I could see your head it didn't seem to be moving much. It was very deceiving for me as a first time mom. Just becuase I could see "your head", what I was really seeing was only part of the top of your head. After 2 hours of pushing I started to get fatigued. I was also getting worried about what would happen if time kept ticking by and I wasn't making much progress. Cassandra encouraged me to take a break from pushing. Dr. Piscatelli came in to see how I was doing. I asked her what the next step would be if I wasn't progressing. She said your head was low enough that I wouldn't need to go to the OR and she would do an assisted delivery with either forceps or vaccum. I wanted to keep trying to push and she agreed that I should. While Dr. Piscatelli was in the room we had turned on the TV so I could watch the Ironman World Championships for some inspiration. I thought it was awesome that I was in labor and you were born while Ironman was on. (We all thought it was cool too that you were born on Uncle Will's birthday!) After about 4.5 hours of pushing, Cassandra looked at me and saidsomething to the effect of " You know what...I don't like the baby's heart rate as much, and I think this baby is done. This baby wants to come out." After she said that I knew that I was headed for an assisted delivery and that was ok. Dr. Piscatelli came in and said she favored forceps over the vaccum. So the peds team was called, along with the anesthiologist. They increased the epidural so that I was very numb. All the equipment and drapes came out, all of a sudden there were 10 people in the room and Dr. Piscatelli was asking me if I was ready. The room was very bright, so I asked that the lights be dimmed to make it a bit more intimate. Dr. Piscatelli told me when to push and after 2 pushes someone told me to look down. Well I looked down and I couldn't see anything. My baby bump was in the way. So then I was told to put my hand down to touch your head. I put my hand down and there was your head! It was such a crazy feeling!! I could not believe it. Then with the 3 rd push you were out! Since we didn't know if you were going to be a boy or girl, we all took a guess before you were delivered. During the entire pregnancy I had a feeling you were a boy, but then I changed my mind the day you were born. I also guess that you were going to weight about 6 lbs 8 oz. Well I was wrong!! Dr. Piscatelli held you up for me to see and all I remember saying was "That came out of me!?" You were so big!! 8 lbs 8 oz to be exact! Your dad was in charge of announcing your sex and it took him a minute to catch his breath. I actually took a peek myself before he could say anything and I saw that you were a boy!! You screamed and cried for a good while after you were born. You scored a 9 on the APGAR scale (your hands were cyanotic so that's why you didn't get a 10!) I was able to have you placed immediately skin to skin, which was very important to me. What an orgasmic feeling that was. We all did a good bit of crying!! The entire labor and delivery was a very surreal experience. Nothing happened like I thougtht it would; but I wouldn't change a thing. What an amazing day...more to come....
It's taken me a few weeks to finally write this. What an exciting, scary, and exhausting few weeks it has been! We waited a LONG time for you ... you were due on December 8th 2010 and when you did not arrive at that time the doctors really wanted me to schedule an induction. I refused and wanted to wait for you to come naturally and guess what!? You did - at 41 weeks and 2 days on December 17th at about 9:58 pm my water broke. I joke with people that 2 of my favorite things got labor going - a glass of Hogue Riesling and a dish of coffee ice cream :) We had my patient's chowder for dinner (Michael's Seafood). It tasted great going down, but not so great coming back up during the later parts of labor! Sorry for being gross, but that's what ou get when your mom's a nurse :) Your dad & I were laying in bed about to shut off the light when I felt (& heard) a sharp "pop" and then I almost immediately had a contraction. I was sure my water had broken but we still couldn't believe it (there was not a big gush of fluid, just a small trickle) We immediately got on the phone with Robin, one of the doulas. I was already having significant contractions and made your dad do most of the talking. I was most comfortable sitting on the toilet, and after talking to Robin for a second, she went ahead and called Kristy who was on duty for the night and I paged the OB on-call to let her know my water had broken and that I would plan to stay at home as long as I could. Well that plan went out the window within 30 minutes. Kristy called and by that point my contractions were coming almost every 5 minutes and I couldn't talk during them. Kristy was going to stay home and we would call her when we needed her...we ended up calling her back and telling her we needed her now...and then we called her back again and told her to meet us at the hospital. The intensity of the contractions were more than I could handle at home. I was scared, because I had no idea that labor could start with such a bang. I thought it would happen more gradually and the intensity would ramp up over time - not so! Mom and Dad were already half asleep, but I had knocked on their door when my water broke to let them know what was going on. Mom stayed with me in the bathroom while your dad scurried around the house to get our stuff packed up and in the car. Mom ended up coming with us which made me feel less scared - the more support the better! The ride to the hospital seemed long and it was all I could do breathe through the contractions. This is also gross - but the gushes of warm amniotic fluid coming out of me actually felt good and helped take my mind off the pain for a second. It is AMAZING how much fluid is in there- it just kept coming & coming! We pulled up to the ED and it was fairly busy. Mom had to fetch a wheelchair and we had to wait about 10 minutes before I was wheeled up to labor & delivery. In between contractions I kind of peeked around, half expecting to see someone I knew and half wanting to see people's reaction to a woman in very active labor! I saw some smiles and also some sympathetic eyes. We get up to L&D and we had to wait another good 10 minutes to get me "checked in." The nurse seemed annoyed that I was there and that I was in such active labor. She started rushing around like I was about to deliver. They get me into triage, try to physically force a gown on me - I tell them "No, I want to labor in my t-shirt" (Weird look #1 comes my way) Then I tell them we have a doula coming (Weird look #2) Some of the nurses were totally cool and appreciative of Kristy and then others were rude or just not very friendly with her. So I got stuck in triage for about 2.5 hours while waiting for a room/nurse to become available. The OB checked me and I was only 3 cm. Only 1 support person was allowed in triage so your dad and Kristy took turns while Mom stayed in the waiting room. I labored along mostly in the standing position. It hurt more to sit or lay down. All the labor pain was in my back - I had no front labor at all. An anestheilogiy resident came in (his name was Dr. Dallas) and consented me for anesthesia - this is protocol. He basically asked me when did I want my epidural and I kindly told him I am taking this one contraction at a time and I would let the nurse know if I wanted something. I was hoping to try and give birth naturally, but also spent a lot of time during pregnancy getting informed about and discussing pain management. Your dad is a phenomenal massage therapist, so we were hoping to use massage therapy and positioning, along with the tub/shower, and possibly a TENS unit to help manage the pain. We had arrived to the hospital around 11 pm and I finally got moved to a room around 2 am. The contractions were coming almost every 2-4 minutes and were lasting 1-2 minutes - it was out of control. Kristy suggested I get into the shower. I am not sure how long I lasted in the shower, but I do remember almost banging my head on the shower wall to try and distract myself from the pain and then I remember Kristy asking me to try and lay down on my side in the tub ... that was the final straw; I was totally exhausted and the intensity of the contractions had taken their toll - it was time for an epidural. Kristy threw out the idea of being checked first, before getting the epidural to determine how far along I was. If I was in transition and very dilated I would have held off without the epidural. A resident came in and checked me - I was only 4-5 cm dilated. Around 3:30 am a wonderful and extremely efficient anesthiologist popped in my epidural and I was a MUCH happier camper. The epidural worked very well and for the most part I was still able to feel the contractions "in a good way." Both Shelby (my nurse) and Kristy suggested that we shut off the lights and try and get some rest. 6 am arrived and Shelby checked me - I was about 8 cm she said. Then around 6:30 am, Dr. Floyd came in to check me since she would be going off call. She got all excited, which got us all excited and said that I was 9 cm and would most likely be having a baby around 8 am! I remember her saying, "We don't even have a table set up in here!" So instead of trying to get more rest, we threw on the lights, Kristy, Ty, & Mom took turns grabbing some coffee and breakfast. Shelby was wrapping up her duties before her shift ended at 7 am, but then close to 8 am she came back to my room. There was an emergency with another woman and my day nurse Cassandra was tied up trying to help with that situation. So Shelby stayed a bit longer and 8 am came and went, and then 9 am came and went...I started to get impatient - I thought I was supposed to be delivering soon!! My day nurse Cassandra came in and we spent a good bit of time talking - she was a fabulous nurse! I was so glad to have her caring for us! We were waiting on Dr. Piscatelli to come and check me to determine if I was ready to deliver. Well she got hung up in the OR so she didn't show up unitl close to 10 or 11 am. She determined that I was not completely dilated and wanted me to "labor down" for a bit. Ok no problem. Well while I was laboring down (aka doing nothing) Cassandra suggested I change position in the bed. Upon doing so, your heart rate decelarated to the 50's ... VERY SCARY! Cassandra immediately grabbed an oxygen mask and hit the intercom button to say she needed help. Hearing her say she needed a doctor and another nurse right away was really really scary - especially when you are a nurse, but on the other side as a patient. All I could think of were all the time I yelled for help when I worked in the ICU. Well her help never arrived and she did a great job, along with Kristy, rolling me from side to side and telling me what to do - "take deep breaths!" Even though it was scary, I knew to keep my mouth shut and just do what I was told. No reason to try and talk...and in a few minutes things were back to baseline. About an hour later, I was resting quietly, when I heard the heart rate on the fetal monitor start to slow way down again. This time Cassandra was not in the room, but Kristy heard the dropping heart rate and she came right to my side. This time I really freaked out. I yelled at your dad to get the oxygen mask, he yelled back at me that he didn't know how to turn on the oxygen. Meanwhile Kristy was trying to help me turn side to side, and I was hitting the call button and yelling that we needed a nurse immediately. A nurse came right in, her name was Eve, she was in charge and she was great too. She helped calm me down and then explained that Cassandra had gone to the OR to set up a table. Well I thought that meant that the OR table was being set up for me, so then I started to really cry and get scared. Eve quickly explained that I was not going to the OR. The floor was short staffed and Cassandra was the only nurse who knew how to set up for a C-section. Cassandra returned, everything calmed down, and around 1 pm Dr. Piscatelli checked me and said I was ready to push. I started pushing around 1:15 pm. After only a few pushes everyone was getting excited because they could see your head. I decided I wanted to see too so Cassandra got a mirror and that was so cool. I asked Cassandra how long she thought I would have to push for. She thought maybe one hour. A hour came and went very quickly. The 2nd hour started, and even though I could see your head it didn't seem to be moving much. It was very deceiving for me as a first time mom. Just becuase I could see "your head", what I was really seeing was only part of the top of your head. After 2 hours of pushing I started to get fatigued. I was also getting worried about what would happen if time kept ticking by and I wasn't making much progress. Cassandra encouraged me to take a break from pushing. Dr. Piscatelli came in to see how I was doing. I asked her what the next step would be if I wasn't progressing. She said your head was low enough that I wouldn't need to go to the OR and she would do an assisted delivery with either forceps or vaccum. I wanted to keep trying to push and she agreed that I should. While Dr. Piscatelli was in the room we had turned on the TV so I could watch the Ironman World Championships for some inspiration. I thought it was awesome that I was in labor and you were born while Ironman was on. (We all thought it was cool too that you were born on Uncle Will's birthday!) After about 4.5 hours of pushing, Cassandra looked at me and saidsomething to the effect of " You know what...I don't like the baby's heart rate as much, and I think this baby is done. This baby wants to come out." After she said that I knew that I was headed for an assisted delivery and that was ok. Dr. Piscatelli came in and said she favored forceps over the vaccum. So the peds team was called, along with the anesthiologist. They increased the epidural so that I was very numb. All the equipment and drapes came out, all of a sudden there were 10 people in the room and Dr. Piscatelli was asking me if I was ready. The room was very bright, so I asked that the lights be dimmed to make it a bit more intimate. Dr. Piscatelli told me when to push and after 2 pushes someone told me to look down. Well I looked down and I couldn't see anything. My baby bump was in the way. So then I was told to put my hand down to touch your head. I put my hand down and there was your head! It was such a crazy feeling!! I could not believe it. Then with the 3 rd push you were out! Since we didn't know if you were going to be a boy or girl, we all took a guess before you were delivered. During the entire pregnancy I had a feeling you were a boy, but then I changed my mind the day you were born. I also guess that you were going to weight about 6 lbs 8 oz. Well I was wrong!! Dr. Piscatelli held you up for me to see and all I remember saying was "That came out of me!?" You were so big!! 8 lbs 8 oz to be exact! Your dad was in charge of announcing your sex and it took him a minute to catch his breath. I actually took a peek myself before he could say anything and I saw that you were a boy!! You screamed and cried for a good while after you were born. You scored a 9 on the APGAR scale (your hands were cyanotic so that's why you didn't get a 10!) I was able to have you placed immediately skin to skin, which was very important to me. What an orgasmic feeling that was. We all did a good bit of crying!! The entire labor and delivery was a very surreal experience. Nothing happened like I thougtht it would; but I wouldn't change a thing. What an amazing day...more to come....
posted by Em at 7:33 AM
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